*hmh

shit happens for a reason.
and when i say shit, i dont mean your typical every day occurrence. i mean the kind of thing that feels as though its ruined your very life. some people have more shit happen than others.

for any of those getting the chance to read dustins book.. this is kind of where its coming from.

consequences happen. what i want to know... is why when the good consequences come along, we brag and boast.. but when the bad consequences come along, obviously, those are gods fault, and he hates humans.
hm.

i watched a play in des moines. i dont remember what its called, but the general idea of it was a divorce between god and humanity.
like judge judy.. but without the skanky nappy headed hoes.

humanity was demanding a divorce from god. it claimed god was never there for them.. god allowed all these horrible things to happen.. it was all gods fault humanity was falling apart at the seams.
i watched as humanity screamed at god for the evil things that were happening.
'youre doing this... youre doing that..'
god stood there with his eyes closed and head down.. when he finally screamed back..

'YOURE DOING IT TO YOURSELF.'

god proceeded to yell at humanity.. 'stop blaming the holocaust on me. i didnt kill those people... YOU killed those people. you chose to end their lives. you took their lives before i did. that was not my decision.'

when god was finally finished... he turned around.
humanity stood there in silence. ... god had finally turned his back.

humanity realized what it had done. began begging god... 'please.. no.. i didnt mean it.'

god turned back around.. and forgave humanity. he opened his arms and let humanity come back.



my point being:
shit happens, but it doesnt randomly happen. at some point in your life, you made a choice that led you to that path. dont sit there and say, 'geeze, god, what did you do that to me for?' ...
he didnt do it to you..
you did it to yourself.
if youre going to bitch and moan about wanting free will.. then accept the consequences that spawn from it.


ive had to come to terms with that reality. i know some people that are still struggling with it.



(there are days where i think about the graveyard. i still remember that ... that feeling of contentment. i think about it, and i smile.
just thought you should know.)